Monday, 4 January 2016

President Obama - World Leaders; an open letter to address Domestic Violence-Abuse


 We want to share with our readers who come from all over the world, another story from a victim of domestic violence, PTSD, Psychological abuse, financial abuse along with her children. Julie lives in the USA and contacted me this morning through our advocacy work with abuse, through an article i had posted from our site, which went global and viral. 

The President of the USA and the First lady of the USA follow our articles, our site and have also supported our world wide campaign which we launched around the world in 2015.

This letter from Julie is a typical story from another victim of a broken justice system for victims, for women escaping domestic violence, abuse. Julie's story could be million's of women's around the worlds story....her story was my own story in so many ways when it came to domestic violence, physical, Psychological and financial abuse.

Abuse does not discriminate it effects all social statues, all races, all religions, women, children, men....but most of it effects women and the children. 
This has to change, a world wide change has to take place, to fix the broken justice system, the Family court system which is well over due for a complete overhaul of its unjust laws, its gasslighting of victims, women, children. 
The Family Court continues the abuse of your abuser and the court allows this to happen.
Violating the Human Rights of the victims who suffer shockingly through the abuse, for many, this is a life time sentence.

Domestic Violence, abuse is about control over another human being.  

Julie gave her permission for her story to be told and here is her letter to the President of the USA.

Dear Editors and President Obama,

My Name is Julie Boyd Cole, mother, advocate, journalist, writer.
I am a survivor of domestic abuse, a journalist, author and mother of two wonderful children. 
I escaped a 15-year violent marriage to a man in the public eye and who presented the picture perfect image to the outside world of an excellent father and husband. Behind closed doors, he choked me, hit me, bruised me, spit in my face, lied to me, threw me against a wall, left me, and constantly belittled me. Finally, I left him, with our young children. 

Divorced him with full custody and moved 500 miles away to safety. But it didn't last. He moved to our town and bought a house just 3 miles away from mine. He began to show up at every child event, drove by my house, called and text 50 times a month. I tried to "get along" and put the abuse behind me. But it was hard. 
The safety of my new city was gone. Then, 5 years after our divorce and with my children now teenagers, he sued me for custody. My children were shocked and so was I. 

They saw their dad every week, when he wasn't traveling or cancelled his visitation. 
The kids were happy and doing well. 
He capitalized on a new Florida law that said fathers and mothers should co-parent and share equal time. He wanted our kids to spend M and T at his house, then pack up their stuff and move to my house W and Th, then back to his house on Friday, except when he had to travel, then back to my house on Sunday. Saturday would alternate. I was shocked. 

How could anyone think this is good for my kids. How could a man who traveled 200 nights a year think he could or should maintain this schedule. How could any lawyer or judge think that an admitted abuser who never disputed the abuse he perpetrated even consider this was a good idea. 
But, everyone said I could not seek a dismissal. Everyone told me I had to play it out all the way. 
Eight months of pretrial motions, mediation and hours of work with attorneys and then 5 hours of depositions. 
Then, he dropped the case with a settlement of just two extra days a month at his house but with 50/50 decision making. 
In other words, he won control. 

He spent the next four years exercising that control in every way possible. As a result, my kids have suffered. 
I have PTSD. And the courts have been involved in several requests by him for further action against me. He has tried to involve the court appoint parenting coordinator hundreds of times. Tens of thousands of dollars have been spent. 

Why would any judge or law allow an abuser back into the lives of his victims. 
No he doesn't hit me anymore, or at least not yet. But, he does everything he can to bully me and our children into giving him what he wants. 
While he only follows agreements that he wants to or is afraid to ignore. 

Mr. Obama, please, please please put an end to this practice in our country forcing domestic abuse victims to co-parent with their abusers. 

No study believes this is a good idea. No statistics prove this works. All studies show, in fact, that this is ruining children's childhoods by putting them under the thumb of an abuser. 
How is it cost effective to take parenting control out of the hands of the protective parent, who has shown that she can get her children out of a very dangerous situation despite all the hardships that entails, and now force co-parenting with someone who will involve the expensive judicial system into the equation frivolously??? 

We need federal help to end this horrible loophole in family court that ignores abuse, even adjudicated crimes, and asks victims and children to buck up and deal with it. 
How would you like it if Malia or Sasha found themselves in this mess? 

Please. We need men to stand up and say NO MORE

Thank you, Julie Boyd Cole, mother, advocate, journalist, writer
Regards,  Julie Boyd Cole



Please take the time to read our other articles on Domestic Violence which have been read by millions of people, and world leaders, that address the injustices of abuse, the courts, the legal system and much more.
Domestic Violence victims, survivors get another kick in the guts 

President Obama announces $1.8 trillion package to address domestic violence and other services 

Domestic Violence more of a threat than Terrorism

Let's make this happen if you give a Dam, and care about Domestic violence, Sexual Violence, PTSD and abuse then please sign and share Michelle Obama has signed, The Billion Women against violence has signed so have many other end violence organizations. We would love to make this happen to coincide with the The Orange The World Day against violence in 2016  https://www.change.org/p/world-wide-leaders-presidents-prime-ministers-for-the-survivors-victims-of-abuse-sexual-violence-suffer-through-out-our-world-we-need-change-now-we-need-a-world-wide-memorial-day-to-remember-those-who-lost-their-lives-to-domestic-sexual-abuse?recruiter=326657032&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&rp_sharecordion_checklist=control

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